to you, always

a poem

looking at you i see that i know this is not a trick of the light

some apparition of shadowed delight

and still i find myself checking if you’re there

the sun vanishes just as quickly as she arrives

a wink of light and then she is begging to dance opposite the moon

balanced on natures tight rope

it’s all us

spinning gyroscopic wishing to be let free into the void of all that we know

can know, could know, or will ever know.

your breath reaches out her hand and meshes with mine

and I find myself wondering why the effort of meeting you is so seamless

beautiful calm

you’re holding me

I’m holding you

When did I whisper a prayer to the universe?

Sometimes I think that nothing in this funny little world matters

and oh how quickly that fades when holding your face with my palms

my body is electric with your touch

burning with the stars on this late night

Empty wine glasses in the depth of afternoon mornings

and im woven in these sheets tangled in you like a violently threaded needle

am I still growing into this? into you?

it's there you step off the train platform into something or maybe it's actually nothing

just quiet

I hope, as a mumbled prayer from where I've bruised my knees

carpet burns from where I've laid on the rug scribbling in my notebook

and you're dropping wishes into a half-filled water bottle

while I meet your eyes from across the room.

and still I find myself begging for more time

I'm not enough because this moment is not enough

I could trick myself into believing this is it

it never will be

I'll come back

this is my eternal checkpoint

I'll return here again and again and again

our shadows dancing like a painting on the wall

intoxication in love

in every life I'll return to you

even if it's just to watch the candle burn out one more time while we kiss.

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